Aarrgghh on Wheels
Dan Wilson sent this to me the other night. It made me laugh. Evidently, this guy is just as pirate-y as me.
Thanks Dan.
Random Archives
Humor in Speaking
I owe a fair deal of success to my various experiences working with Avish Parashar.
He's doing a free teleseminar about using developing and using humor in speaking. I haven't heard this particular talk before, I will be listening to it, but I can attest to his expertise on this matter. Anyone who has a vested interest in… let's say… enhancing a technical presentation to make it more interesting, would benefit greatly from what Avish has to say.
I figure it's important to note, that he's not about adding a joke or two to your presentations. He's talking adding appropriate and topical humor to presentations. He's also about teaching you to think on your feet, and respond to your audience with in-the-moment humor.
The seminar will be held Thursday, April 17th from 1:00PM EST to 2:30PM.
Find out more at Avish's various sites:
Quasi-Popular?
I followed the link Peter Bell offered today of the rundown of various web frameworks. I kept following to the Wikipedia article for my particular favorite framework, Model-Glue. Where I discovered this line:
Written by Joe Rinehart, a quasi-popular ColdFusion blogger…
Really, quasi-popular? That seems a bit awkward not to mention inaccurate.
Joe, you're at least semi-popular in my book.
Twitter's System Maintenance Page
I would like this image to be Wharton's new maintenance page. I wonder if Bob would go for that.
Message to Candidates
If I tell your volunteer that I'm not going to vote for you in the primaries, then I'm not going to give you money either.
I got a call from a volunteer for Barack Obama. I listened respectfully, and then told them I was probably going to vote for John Edwards. They then asked for $150.
I know it works differently at big money level, people hedge their bets. But considering that I'm not looking for an ambassadorship, I'll save my money for a candidate I support.
Gadgets and Widgets and Apollo, Oh My!
I've been building my first Vista Gadget. Dave K inspired me by writing an awesome targeted Gadget for our environment. For those of you who don't know, Gadgets are little HTML, JavaScript enabled applications that run on the desktop and server up little bits of information like weather, or stocks, or what have you. For those of you that are saying "OSX has had them for awhile... they're called widgets," Shhhh, be quiet. Apple stole the idea from Konfabulator, who stole it from Apple, who probably stole it from Xerox. But let's just say the idea has been around for awhile, and we all think it's cool.
Anyway... I've been writing a Gadget, and it's shockingly easy. However I'm annoyed at the prospect of translating it to a OSX Widget. It's HTML, it's JavaScript, it's CSS; a widget is HTML, a widget is JavaScript, a widget is CSS. Why the hell do I have to do any translation? This is the age of Web Standards, and SOA, I thought I would never have to work to make a basic HTML application cross platform again. Both Microsoft and Apple deserve a little finger wagging here. You're making us take a giant step backwards!
I could rewrite it as a Yahoo! Widget. That would make it cross platform. But I would have to rewrite it as XML and JavaScript. (Not as much fun as HTML and JavaScript. ) Plus, it's not like Yahoo! Widgets is lighting up the Internets.
If only there was a cross platform application engine that could present applications written in HTML and JavaScript. It would harness the ease of HTML and JavaScript development with a portable runtime. It could also package them into self contained little applications that don't need the screen real estate of an entire web browser.
Oh wait, isn't that what Apollo is supposed to be? Can't it do Flash and Flex too? Isn't it also going to package whole applications, not just nuggets of applications?
I finally get it Adobe. I was lukewarm at first. But now that I see how effective these little applications can be, how easy they are to write, and my frustration with platform issues, I totally get it now. Assuming you can leverage your "Version Penetration" for Flash into seats with Apollo, you will kick the crap out of all of those other options.
But now I want Apollo. Crap.
Oh well, my plan is to keep writing the occasional Gadget, really get the whole Ajax thing down, and be better positioned to take advantage of Apollo when it is released.
Laphroaig
My houseguests left a little something when they left: a bottle of Laphroaig Quarter Cask. For those that don't know, it is a single malt scotch which is believed to be one of the more strongly tasting scotches. It's supposed to taste like peat. (Intentionally tasting like decaying vegetation) Additionally, it supposedly it tastes like scotch did 100 years ago.
At first I was apprehensive. The last time I tried Laphroaig I didn't like it, as it tasted like suffering. But that was not the Laphroaig Quarter Cask.
This time, it's not that bad, maybe it was my older palate. Maybe it was the whole 100 years ago thing. Maybe I like the taste of peat.
I'm glad Janice is asleep though. She doesn't like when I come to bed smelling like cigar. I can't imagine her reaction to "peat moss breath."
Happy New Years
Happy New Years to all. I've been silent because I've been busy.
I had house guests who promote hangovers. (Well, only one of them did that.) But I've need a couple days to recover from all of the Black Label, (and Captain Morgan's and Aberlour and egg nog) and cigars and food that were consumed.
Why Must You Mock?
I got news for you Joe and Scott. There is nothing wrong with the "Way of the Peaceful Warrior." It did in fact, change my life.
It's about a guy who finds a philosophical master, but he's a guy who works at the gas station. But he's really wise. Then they get in a fight. But then the younger guy realizes that the older guy was right. And then this happens again like another 20 or 30 times. Then the older guy dies, and the younger guy regrets all the fighting. And then the older guy appears in a vision and shows the young guy what it is like to be dead. And then the young guy realizes that he should be nicer to his wife.
Actually wait. That does sound pretty subject to mockery. Ummm. Never mind guys.
On 30
Tonight is the last night of my 20's. I feel I must right the obligatory "I'm 30" post. I do it while enjoying a cigar and a glass of Blue Label.
I tend to look at my life in 5 year markers. I remember a lot about 5 years ago at 25. I remember impressions of me at 20. I have only the vaguest sense of me at 15.
I know that all of those different versions of me would not have expected me to be where I am. That's not a lament. It's just further proof that life is really hard to plot out past 5 years.
At 15:
- I was painfully single, but somehow
- I thought I would be married at 25
- I thought I would be a Psychologist
- I thought I would move away from the Philadelphia area forever
- I didn't think life was that great
- I thought High school was pretty pointless
- I figured college would be more of the same, but at least I'd be out of my parents' house
At 20:
- I was painfully single, but
- I hoped I would be married at 25
- I feared I wouldn't be able to get a real job
- I didn't care where I lived as long as I had a job
- Life was okay, but would be better once I started making real money
- That high school was pointless was a confirmed fact
- College was more of the same, but at least I was out of my parent's house.
At 25
- I was painfully single, and
- I accepted that I would always be this way (thanks to my ex's for that )
- I was a relatively successful computer geek.
- I felt like I might just accept Philadelphia as a home
- Life was better than before, but the real fun started when I made more money
- I couldn't remember almost anything about high school; except a vague suspicion that it had been uncomfortable.
- College was the best time in my life, and I wished I had lived it up a little more.
Now we come to 30
- I'm happily married
- I hope for a long, long time
- I'm still a geek.
- Hey, assface, you didn't just say something bad about Philly? Did you?
- Life is pretty great, but you know what would be greater? More money.
- I assume I went to a high school at some point
- College was the best time in my life until now. (Thanks to Janice)
I have no idea what 35 and 40 will hold. I hope I hold on to my wife, I hope I have some kids, I hope health is in there too. Past that, not much you can really plan on.
Except that more money would be nice too.
Joe Cruz is Blogging
Finally, Joe Cruz is blogging. If you wanted to know more about the world from the point of view of a Guamanian Computer Geek, here's your chance.
You Better Watch Out... Again.
I've blogged it before, but I feel like I need to spread Christmas... cheer.
How the Hell Did This Happen?
I'm sitting here on my porch, smoking a cigar and drinking some coffee and it's hit me: I'm getting married in three days. I'm still shocked that I'm allowed to do this. Like someone should step in and ask Janice what the hell is wrong with her, and is she sure this is a good idea.
Oh well, hopefully for me, no one will.
This probably hit me because today was my last day of work for three weeks. I've never had a three week vacation in my life. One of the reasons I love working at Wharton is the awesome vacation benefits (5 weeks and the week between Christmas and New Years off. ) But I never take them. Part of it is I'm a bit of a workaholic, and part of it is I truly like the job. But now contemplating three weeks away.... I'm thrilled. Maybe a little scared, but truly looking forward to it.
The Dockenwamp is People!
Approximately, one year ago I was introduced to the concept of the "Dockenwamp." I have to admit that even in my moments of relative peace, I still wondered "What is the Dockenwamp?" Thanks to Haplo, I got the answer.
However to fully understand, I have to explain the context of the "Dockenwamp." We saw it at the Orpheus Club, a Philadelphia institution whose purpose seems to be properly expressed in it's French motto: "Avocats, travestites, et soirees musicales." They have events where people need to suck up to two gentleman named "Doc" and "Wamp" (pictured.) Evidenlty, they have to suck up by singing a song that is suspciously similar to Queen's "Give me the Prize," featured on the soundtrack to the movie "Highlander." This leaves me to believe that the members have to behead each other to win the favor of the "Doc and Wamp."
The sad thing is that the picture, taken by Jeff Porten, came out blurry. That's not a shot at Jeff, I'm sure much like the Sasquatch, Yeti, and Chupacabra, the Dockenwamp does not photgraph well.
Daily Show - Random Thought
Janice said pretty much all there was to say about our experience at the Daily Show taping, so I'll just say this: I respect and admire Jon Stewart, but I have non-sexual man-crush on Stephen Colbert.
Daily Show Taping
Barring the existence of a retraining order against me because of my hobo advice, I will be attending a taping of the Daily Show tomorrow.
I'm very excited. Janice arranged the whole thing. She's the bestest fiancee ever.
What happened to this Playdough?
I have two theories about the pictured playdough fruit:
- Fruit made from playdough rots because it looks like fruit.
- The salt is being leeched out and chrystalizing.
Either way, I fear it.
Haplo Strikes again
My theory... There are two type of people in the world: 1. People who find Haplo to be the funniest person alive, and 2. People who should be shot in the face.
Enjoy: a most dangerous game.
10 Years?
I was awarded with my 10 years of service gift today for my job today. It's the shiny photo album pictured here.
One small problem. I graduated from Penn in May of 1999. I started work here in June 1999. Any takers as to the problem?
Evidenlty work-study jobs are included. Considering some of Penn's benefits, this isn't a bad thing.
An Open Letter to Jon Stewart
Those of you that know me have seen this kind of thing before. Inspired by Chris Berg, and egged on by Janice I sent the following email to Comedy Central:
Dear Jon Stewart,
I was very offended by your sketch which featured you killing a hobo for fun. I thought it was unnecessary and wasteful.
For generations my people have hunted the majestic hobo, not for fun, or sport, but for survival. Even in best of times we did not kill a Hobo and just leave it on the sidewalk. We learned to use the whole hobo.
We harvested their skin for their power. We offered their eyeballs to our dark and ancient god. We made life sustaining hobo pemmican.
In short you made a joke of something you know nothing about.
Shame, shame on you, Jon Stewart.
Terrence Ryan
Philadelphia, PA
At best maybe we'll actually finally get tickets. Worst, Jon Stewart will get a restraining order on me. I also noticed that I spelt his name "John" in the letter I sent. I bet he loses all respect for me.
Which ColdFusion Personality Would You Host?
Dan, Ryan, and I were discussing this year's Macromedia Max (or whatever Adobe will call it) while drinking, one thing led to another and the following question was posed:
Which ColdFusion personality would you to invite to sleep on your guest bed?
First, of course we thought Ben Forta. I think that would be like hosting the Dali Lama. You'd be nervous, you'd say things like "I can't let Ben Forta see my PHP books."
We moved on to Damon Cooper, who at first glance would be fun. But I get the feeling that he's like your college friend who comes and makes drinking look so fun. So it's fun, but you have like a 5 day hangover after he leaves.
So I think my vote would be for Tim Buntel. He seems like he would be fun but not a giant enabler. He wouldn't criticize your book collection. And he would probably make the bed before he left.
Anyone out there have any opinions other than "Geeks like you should not drink."
I'm a Soda Whore
Casey bought me a bottle of Diet Black Cherry Vanilla Coke for my birthday. I drank it. I like it.
Diet Vanilla Coke isn't even in the ground yet and I'm cozying up to a new soda. I would be ashamed, but I'm no good on my own.
Phallus Claus
This is one of those inflatable Christmas lawn ornaments that appears to be the rage this holiday season. My question is: who buys a inflatable Christmas lawn ornament of a Santa with a giant tree-dong? You also can't see it in the picture, but the wind causes the inflatable figure to jiggle in a most unwholesome manner.
Do You Hear What I Hear?
Do you hear what I hear, do you hear what I hear? A song, a song, a song that's over-produced...
Why is it that Chirstmas brings out over cleaned voices, unnecessary florishes and children's chiors?
I saw Harry Hamlin
I was within spittin' distance of dreamy, dreamy Harry Hamlin, of L.A. Law and Clash of the Titans fame. He narrated a Christmas Program at EPCOT.
Yeah it's pretty blurry, but nothing can diminish the man beauty that is Harry Hamlin.
Coke has No Sense of Humor
My continuing plans to torment Coke do not fair well. In an attempt to be completely honest, I sent them this:
Would this have been a more effective query:
Please send me free Diet Vanilla Coke. You can't sell it anyway. You might as well send me some free. I will give it a good home and love it, until I pour it into my gaping maw!
I'm just wondering.
They reponded:
Thank you for contacting our website, Mr. Ryan. We appreciate your interest in The Coca-Cola Company.
Your comments are appreciated and will be shared with the appropriate management.
If you have additional questions or comments, please visit our website again.
Janice
Industry and Consumer Affairs
The Coca-Cola Company
What I find interesting is that it is clearly a form letter, like the last response, but is different from it. Either an algorithm determines the response, or a person had to pick a response. It almost makes me want to test what will come back from them if I send different queries.
Blackberry Blogging
Finally got myself a new cell phone. It's a Blackberry 8700c powered by Cingular Edge data services.
Long and short of it. I love blogging from the comfort of my own bed. It seems to be a decent cure for insomnia.
Running Man Clock Update
Janice pointed out to me that with Arnold's defeat in the various proposition elections in California, that the Running Man Clock needed updating. After conferring with the committee of scientists who vote on Running Man Clock issues, we have decided to change the time to midnight.
It is now 10 minutes until midnight, where midnight is defined as creation of a real world Running Man show.
Meow Mix Cat Clock
I don't know if this ad does justice to the horror that the Meow Mix Cat Clock is. But those of you that don't watch late night TV won't ever know the horror any other way.
Pumpkin Ice Cream
Two years ago I discovered Pumpkin Ice Cream at Trader Joes. Since then I have repeatedly stopped in at Trader Joes around this time of year, hoping beyond hope that they would have it. Finally my stalking has paid off. Behold!
I've hoarded a small supply of it, but I will be back. Get some while it lasts, it doesn't stay in the freezer very long. Mostly 'cause I hoard it.
Room Service
I ordered room service tonight for dinner. I was watching Gilmore Girls when the waiter brought it up.
He made it clear that he doesn't respect me anymore. He didn't say a word, but eyes can speak volumes about the lack of respect you have for someone who watches Gilmore Girls.
Shitty Weather Follows Me
After a week solid of rain in Philly I come to sunny LA. It's raining. It will continue to rain for the rest of week according the Weather.com.
Moe.
Best of David Spade
I don't know what's sadder, that there is a Best of David Spade on SNL or that I'm watching it.
Then I remember that Christopher Walken, who has never been a cast member of SNL had a "Best of" already. So I don't know which is sadder; who ever wins, I ultimately lose.
Gary S. Paxton
It seems I confused Ryan with this post about a somethingawful.com Flash tub video. So here's more info on Gary S. Paxton.
- He did win a Grammy
- The Song is "The Big 'A' = The Big 'M'"
- He's got awful hair
Creepy Flash
What would you get if you combined an unironic song about abortion with an Flash video done in the style of Nintendo graphics?
You would get this Flash Tub from somethingawful.com. Go, check out the dark side of what you can do with Macromedia products.
Haplo is Blogging!
That's right. Haplo is blogging. That's really exciting for me and a couple people who read this. The rest of you don't know it's exciting yet. But you will.
Mark my words you will.
Me in South Park
Ryan pointed out this really cool South Park Character creator. So I've made a likeness of me in South Park.
Congrats, Ryan, you started a mini-meme.
Windows Treo?
There's a Windows Mobile Treo coming out? I want one! I might like this better than the Motorola Q that Scott wrote about.
Tastykake Pumpkin Pies!
I've spotted the first Tastykake Pumpkin Pie of the season today, at Wawa. Life is beautiful.
Sunk Cost Fallacy
There's an article in Slate about the Sunk Cost Fallacy. It's one of my favorite logical fallacies, and frankly, the coolest one without a Latin title. The article explains it better, but, in a nutshell, Sunk Cost Fallacy occurs when decision makers continue down a path because for no other reason than that they've already spent a lot of resources on the path. Ex:
We've already spent $80 million on Gigli if we were to abandon it, burn the negatives and never mention it again, we would have wasted all that money. Now get me another $20 million in ad buys in every market!
What's even cooler is that it's by a Barry Schwartz, a professor at Swarthmore.
Zatarain's
I'm a huge fan of Zatarain's products and figured I should horde them while they were still available. Janice - my enabler, and I went down to Superfresh and stocked up.
It got me to thinking though, I wonder what they are doing through all this. According to their website, they are asking for customers to continue to support them, and they are going to pay their employees until the September 15th at which time the company will have a better idea of what's going to happen going forward.
As soon as they start shipping product again, I will be purchasing it. Until then I wil guard my hoard and pray for the employees.
Wikipedia Showdown
I've writen before about how sometimes the amount of content in wikipedia on certain subjects disturbs me (here and here.) I have off for the next few days and was looking to work my brain a little bit and wrote this little application that will compare how many characters are written about any two subjects in wikipedia. So for example you can discover that more is written about "blankbabied" then "zombo.com". So check it out, and come up with and comment on your own crazy showdowns.
Wikipedia Showdown!
In order to do this, I had to rely on CFHTTP to get the job done. I've included the cfc that handles grabbing the input from wikipedia in the extended entry.
Mysterious Screaming
An Ohio town is being "terrorized" by a mysterious screaming sound. The local news did a report on it. Watch it, listen for the recording of the scream. I don't know why, but it makes me laugh everytime I hear it. Maybe the tape recording diminishes some of the terror in the sound. Or maybe this town needs a higher threshold of terror.
Starship Troopers
Starship Troopers is on TNT. Wow, it's more craptastic than I remember. Paul Verhoeven basically shat in a celluloid reel and made us watch it.
You disapprove? Well, too bad. We're in this for the species, boys and girls.
That's Doogie Houser trying to be intimidating as an SS officer. There's only one way that we could be a bigger weenie in this movie. If he tried to say "It's my way or the highway," which, like, only three actors in Hollywood can get away with.
Sadly, Doogie, you are not one of them.
Beheaded Kangaroos
12 kangaroos were found beheaded on a golf course in Austraila.
Somewhere out there is a 500 year old kangaroo that is hopping around telling anyone who will listen: There can be only one.
Wikipedia Has Gone Too Far
Do you want an inappropriately clinical explanation of what SomethingAwful.com is? Well then go to Wikipedia's SomethingAwful.com article. Also in this same vein:
If all this navel gazing wasn't enough, there's even the web equivalent of a mirror showing a mirror:So I Married an Axe Murderer
I've seen So I Married an Axe Murderer many times and it always leaves me with the same question:
What does the character Charlie Mackenzie do for living?
As far I can tell he is a professional beat poet but somehow I don't trust that answer.
Witness' Vision of Lancaster County
There's a new set of commercials urging you to experience Lancaster County as depicted in the movie Witness.
Last time I checked, according to the movie there are two ways outsiders are received by the Amish:
- Kelly McGillis subtly tries to convert you to Amishism through "flirty fishing"
- They are buried under large amounts of grain.
With the exception of the flirty fishing part, there is no real upside to Amish Country according to Witness.
Taking On WebHoaxes
This is an extremely funny account of what happens to a Slate reporter after trying to take on a bunch of webhoaxers. It includes Wookie fetishes, SomethingAwful.com, and upturned shirt collars. Truly a must read.
Green-Collar Crime - How I stopped an Internet sex hoax. By Cyrus Farivar
My Life in 19 Inches
No, it's not a penis joke, this weekend I saw a test run of Craig's (of Craig's Variety Show) one man show, "My Life in 19 inches" this past Saturday. I was feeling kinda crappy before I went down so I wasn't expecting alot. Additionaly most of the one man show's I've seen have been overly self indulgent trips through someone's mental masturbation. The only one man show I've ever really like was MacHomer, but that's a pretty high concept rendition of MacBeth with every role being played by a Simpsons character (how could that fail to please.) So, while I expected good things from Craig, I expected also to give a lot of feedback, as it was a test run.
My expectations, however, were blown out of the water.
It's the story of how Craig's life has been affected by TV. It was mostly funny, but at times sad and uncomforatble. It was a good kind of uncomfortable, because Craig was portraying people who you know you have been at some point in your life: the inadvertly hurtful kid at school, or the patronizing person at a party. I think that's what made it successful, that it wasn't self stiumulating rather it was explaining, it was illuminating someone else's perception.
I wanted to get this out because in a couple months Craig's going to bring it to a full stage production, and I will be pushing it. But I wanted to make it clear that I am supporting it (in the future) because it really is that good.
Target, Baby Got Back?
Target has a back to school commerical with Sir-Mix-A-Lot's Baby Got Back as the theme.
Isn't it a bit weird to sell stationary and backpacks to kids with a song about ass?
Halloween Float
York, PA is cancelling their annual Halloween parade because of an anti-abortion float that someone entered in it...
Grove's anti-abortion float, "Dr. Butcher's Chop Shop of Choice Cuts," features fetuses and mutilated body parts.
This is either a brilliant prank, or just a creepy direction for political debate.
Daily Show
I watch the Daily Show religiously, and I have to admit that the show seems to have taken serious change in tone since they moved to the new set. Granted, I only have 6 shows to analyze, but they seem to have changed dramatically.
First, the Daily Show put together one of the most coherent and fair explanations I have seen on the whole Rove scandal. Second, Stewart verbally demolished Bernard Goldberg and his enemies list. Third, Stewart got into a real in-depth discussion with Michael Isikoff about the important issue being the administration's dishonesty.
Tonight though sealed it for me. Something is different. The guest was Robert Kennedy Jr. He was on to discuss a story he's trying to get out about a mercury-based vaccine additive that's been linked to autism. According to his information, (studies, scientists, statistics, etc) it's a done deal that they are connected. Salon has the story in more detail. The thing that struck me was that Stewart did not interrupt at all. He shot like maybe one joke in at the end, but other than that he didn't cut in. It seems to me that Stewart just wanted to get this story out, since Kennedy had trouble getting the story out, (part of his tale is how ABC just edited the piece into a commercial for the Pharmaceutical industry.)
So all this makes me think that Jon Stewart has been building his audience, driving up his numbers, and is now going to take them out for a spin, doing more advocacy and more editorializing. In short, people are listening, and now the Daily Show is ratcheting up what they have to say. I wonder if it has to do with the positive reaction Stewart got from spanking Tucker Carlson. Did it help makee him realize that his auidience will indulge him during his forays into substantitive issues.
Of course this could all prove false if he start softballing guests again (Clinton, Kerry, O'Reily) but time will tell.
On a side, and completely non-related note, Jon Stewart was once somehow convinced by Craig Liggeons into doing a little shill for Polywumpus Improv Comedy during one of his stand-up shows. I don't know how it happened but I'm sure that's the key to his success.
StreetWars
This is just cool. In fact the only thing that would make this cooler is if participation in this would lead you to get accidently marked as a real assassin by a hot secret agent working for the other side. You would travel with them and get drawn into the real game of espionage. Finally it would all culminate in a chase on a local college campus where the real fake game and the fake real game collide with disasterous consequences. (The, like, 3 people who have seen Gotcha! know of what I speak.)
Amazon Wants Me Dead
I got an email suggestion from Amazon a few moments ago. Killing Yourself to Live : 85% of a True Story and A Long Way Down were their picks for me. One is about Rock and Roll deaths, and the other is about the aftermath of a suicide pact.
Geez, guys, I gave up my morbid phase like 12 years ago. Maybe I have to stop rating Morrissey albums.
Note: I'm not sure what scares me more. That there is a detailed article on Morrissey or that both Morrissey's and Jobriath's articles are longer than Associate Justice John Paul Stevens' article. For a better understanding of Jobriath, see this Something Awful article on Worst Rock Stars which coined one of my favorite descriptions:
he described the discrepancy between its lavish production and awful content as being "like a statue of a retard carved out of white gold."
Off to my Doom
I'm off to Long Island today. My parents are meeting Janice's mother. I don't want to go. Janice doesn't want to go. I think deep down my father doesn't want to go. But according to my mother, "It's just something you have to do." I know plenty of couples where that isn't true.
So Janice and I will be looking for ways to get out of it. If for some reason I end up in the hospital, it's not an accident, Janice got desperate, please send help. Of course I'm kidding, except I'm not. Send help! I think she heard me typing!
Countdown to Running Man
For awhile I have been wanting to do this. Cold Fusion made it a lot more easy. I present the Countdown to the Running Man.
I am a strange, strange man.
Backstreet Boys Cult Worship
I guess I deserve this because I have Jay Leno on in the background (waiting for Conan.) But the Backstreet Boys are on performing off their new album, and the crowd is singing along. In perfect unison. It's creepy. It's not the way that I want it.
Been Awhile
So it's been awhile, but May's been pretty tough. Work's been brutal. We had a pretty big outage. By big, I mean we lost our Windows Domain, our Exchange servers, our database server, our file servers, our dhcp servers, and our web application servers.
It took us about a week to recover. Janice, and I had to cancel a vacation because of it. So I still haven't seen Disney World. I'm just glad she works with me. I hear that some of my coworkers romantic partners were not as understanding. Not even a possibility in this case, my hell was Janice's hell.
Finally to cap it all off, the weekend this happened was the weekend I was going to propose. In fact I was delayed in getting the ring by the first set of failures. When I got back from picking it up, the second set of failures had happened. So instead of the romantic plan I had, I just popped the question, because I was afraid of anything else getting in the way.
So I'm engaged, and I believe there's a picture of the ring on Janice's blog.
Still Alive
So I have taken to calling March, Pooptober. Wisdom teeth surgery and a two week illness. So I have been out of it.
Now gearing up for the 2005 48 Hour Film Project.
Dockenwamp !!
I'm not sure what a "dockenwamp" is, but it brought me hours of enjoyment this weekend.If anyone out there knows what it actually is, please let me know.
Alternatively, if you wish to speculate, do that as well.
UPDATE:
Ryan has provided some anagrams for the dockenwamp:
- camped know
- camped wonk
- decamp know
- decamp wonk
- dow packmen
- know camped
- know decamp
- mawn pocked
- mock pawned
- mocked pawn
- mown packed
- packed mown
- packmen dow
- pawn mocked
- pawned mock
- pocked mawn
- wonk camped
- wonk decamp
Intervention
I finally watched my Tivo'ed copy of Intervention, the new reality show from A&E. I have to say I'm disappointed. The last 20 minutes or so focus on the intervention. The rest of the show was focused on setting up the "why" of the intervention - "Why was the intervention needed?"
I think where they failed here is that they did a good job of showing why they needed the intervention, but they did a less good job of telling me why I should care about these people. Granted, this is going to show the worst of the people off, but I think they need to focus more on making us root for the people. There seems to be a token effort to point out what these people were before they were addicts, but it seems to revel more in their downfall. All in all this is just another exploitative reality show with little social merit. Nothing wrong with that, except, there are other reality shows that are just as exploitative, but don't hide behind a veneer of "helping people."
Having said all this, until I see the one with my boy, Gabe the Gambler, my jury is still out.
Wisdom Teeth
I had my wisdom teeth taken out today. I got to keep one. Look at that thing. It's huge, and there was four of them in there. Jesus, no wonder why they hurt. On a scary note, I woke up during the procedure. I heard the doctor ask for a chisel, and felt him whacking it into my jaw. I didn't feel a thing though, gotta love modern medicine.
In that same vein, I've been prescribed oxycodone. I can't believe the difference it makes. I go from having my jaw on fire, to being extremely comfortable. I can see why people get addicted to the stuff, I can't imagine what it would feel like it to take it without a hole in my jaw.
I promise to not go all Rush Limbaugh on it.
TV Nonsense
There was a Crossing Jordan marathon on A&E. Fun, light hearted, Jill Hennessey is easy on the eyes. They're usually a mix of black comedy and maudlin musical montages. However the last 2 or 3 have been downright depressing, which led me to utter the sentence:
"Wow, that leaves me yearning for the feel-good glow of a Law & Order: SVU"
And speaking of A&E, I've been seeing ads for the new show Intervention. I hate the exploitation, but I really want to see the whiny gambler guy. Watch out for the preview, the guy I want to see is that one screaming about "This isn't fair... I have to get on a plane... I don't even have a choice..." Brilliant stuff.
Best Website Ever
Janice pointed out to me that Christopher Meloni of Law and Order SVU has a fan website where he actually answers questions about anything.
Half of me thinks this is really weird, but the other half has to admire the fact that Mr. Meloni is so generous to his fans... his scary, scary fans.
Dear God, what is that thing?
My girlfriend does synchronized skating, and occasionally I get sucked into that world. I've gotten pretty used to it, however this weekend I saw something that disturbed the shit out of me. Luckily I captured an image of it. I can only describe it as an anthropomorphic chicken clown. Yes, an anthropomorphic chicken clown. Be afraid.
Karate Kid the Musical
Karate Kid the Musical, cause adding music makes everything better.
I forsee:
Charles in Charge: The Musical
Youngblood: On Ice
Big Trouble in Little China: The Rock Opera
God help us all.
Panda's Peeing, Upside Down
You know what we need in this world? More pictures of pandas, peeing while doing a handstand. That would make the world a better place.
I'm Still Wowed by Technology
I'm a sucker for it, I guess. I just got off my cellphone with my parents. They are in Paris. They were calling me from the Notre Dame de Paris Cathedral. Half a world away, six times zones away, and yet somehow my parents could still check in with me... That's just cool.
Cool, but Weird Kennedy Documentary
So I'm watching the Discovery Channel at this exact moment. Currently on, a Show entitled Kennedy III - Magic Bullet which tries to explain how one bullet could have caused the Kennedy assassination without resorting to the Magic Bullet theory.
I don't know about all that. But the whole show is them shooting bullets into giant blocks of medical gelatin that simulates human tissue. After they shoot it, they play it back in slow motion. They also made "artificial torsos."
Memorable quote:
Wesley made sure to include a complete neck on the JFK torso, so he could accurately triangulate the position on the entry wound. Now it is time to bring in the anatomical surrogates. First the torso representing JFK...
Wow.
The CDC Monitors My Bathroom
Mysteriously at work, these weird signs popped up on our bathroom. They are Center for Disease Control signs basically promoting proper handwashing. For some reason I got it into my head to slip in a sign of my own. For the record, I don't think the CDC is "Big Brother" I just have a weird sense of humor. I'd feel really guilty mocking a government institution except for the fact that I'm 90% sure that these signs going up is related to flu vaccine shortages.
So far only two people have noticed it.
Christmas Craptacular
I saw a preview for a TV musical version of The Christmas Carol that's new this year. I looks like one of those movies where they load up with celebrities and leave behind the quality.
Cons: Kelsey Grammer, Jason Alexander, musical
Pros: Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jesse L. Martin, Charles Dickens
I'll probably watch it anyway, cause I'm a sucker for Christmas movies.
Irony of Ironies
Eugene Elliot is very much alive and living as a plastic surgeon in California.
That's Dr. Eugene Elliot to you, bub.
That's My Bush
That's right, there's a That's My Bush marathon on Comedy Central right now.
So far I've seen both an anthropomorphic fetus, and cat-puppet. Brilliant.
Red Sox Win
Congrats Nye and Alex.
I'd like to point out, I only care, because Kendall's obnoxious love of the Yankees makes me love the Red Sox out of cognitive dissonance.
Who links to me.
Okay, so I'm copying off of Scott McNulty, but I don't feel too bad as he has proclaimed himself: "Philadelphia's Most Influential Blogger™."
This site will display what websites link to me.
Who Links Here
Fetal Position
Thanks to Scott at Blankbaby for posting a link that makes me want to curl up in the fetal position and never talk to another soul for as long as I live.
The horror.
Citizen Wumpus Logs
So from time to time, I check the weblogs of www.citizenwumpus.com. They yeild some interesting results.
Many people get to citizenwumpus.com by searching on google. But what are they searching for?
Some of them are obvious:
Citizen Wumpus 20 hits
Wumpus 18 hits
Wumpus Produciton 5 hits
Some of them are strange but understandable:
edmund bacon in shanghai
whedon sorkin
Some of them are a bit troubling vis-a-vis our quality:
"voice over needed"
"48 hour film" contest tips techniques "do not"
Some just didn't make any sense to me but okay:
define www.lordoftherings.com
trojan war abstract modern pma
Macgyver the challenge
But my personal favorite:
ryan kelly douchebag
Additionally I know how often people search for various Citizen Wumpus members.
craig liggeons 9
terrence ryan 7
avish parashar 6
"terrence ryan" 5
nye warburton 3
As you can see Craig is the most popular member of Citizenwumpus. Or is he?
Citizen Wumpus Redesign
Oooh so many non-political posts. So due to some business coming down the pike, I'm looking to increase visibility for the main site. Plus, we now have video up.
That's right Pigglet Too
So I was reminded that Eeyore has killed before. Here's the proof. Pigglet didn't stand a chance against the little blue donkey.
However considering the season in which we find ourselves, I would be willing to believe that Eeyore is consuming Smoked Babar meat. I'm not sure what elephant meat would look like, but I think it's safe to say it would look like ham.
Not enough Time
I often find myself lamenting the fact that I don't seem to have as much time as I'd like to do everything I would like to do. Then I stumble on to this on my hard drive and realize that I waste large amounts of time.
The back story behind this is that a friend of my who will go nameless is afraid of Eeyore. He said that Tigger would protect him.
I showed him what Eeyore and I thought of Tigger....
I am a sad, sad man.
Unrelated to Film
So I moved this past weekend. My wonderful girlfriend had the bright idea of loading up the TiVo before we moved, so during the cable gap, we would have access to fine quality programming. However there was a Quantum Leap marathon on in the days before our move. So instead of a diverse line up, I pretty much only had them to watch.
I was struck by two things about this show. 1. Cheesiest theme music ever. Honestly I could compose a better theme song on a touch tone phone. 2. The show holds up much better than most of the shows I liked in my youth. (Unlike say Macgyver.) It has a strong central premise, it's episodic so you can kinda just jump in wherever, but it still has some strong story arc's. You have Sam getting pieces of his own memory back, Al's wife, and internment, and the concept of a higher power guiding the leaping.
Overall good stuff. It's rerunning on the Sci Fi channel at 2 am.
Clash of the Titans on the Big Screen
One of my RSS feeds showed this to me today.
It contains storyboards for Van Helsing. Now what ever you think of the movie, storyboards are storyboards, they can be helpful, and as an audience member, you don't get to see too many of them. .
http://movies.yahoo.com/movies/feature/vanhelsingslides.html
Chance to Network with Penn Alums in Film Industry
Found this on the Penn Alumni Site today. Check it out it could be a good opportunity to network.
If someone from Citizen Wumpus is interested in going, but is not a Penn Alum, let me know, I can bring in guests.
Friday May 14th.
2 - 3:30 pm
Being There: Education, Humanities, and the Movies
The Arch
A panel of alumni from the film industry join Professor Timothy Corrigan, Director of Film Studies, to discuss the relationship between a liberal arts education and the movies. The panel will include Marc Platt, C'79, producer of Legally Blonde, its sequel, and the Broadway musical, Wicked. For more information call 215-898-5262. Sponsored by the School of Arts and Sciences.
About the event and the link to register:
http://www.alumni.upenn.edu/alumniweekend2004/friday.html
Koyaanisqatsi
I saw it for the first time tonight. I hated, hated, hated this movie. All form, no substance. And don't give me that "It's a deep message about the environment." It's pretentious nonsense, and I hate you for even defending it.
It's scored by Phillip Glass, so I should have known. Although, the score does include a song where the title is sung repeated for a 5 minute stretch, so I guess I can't criticize the music that much.
All in all, this seemed less a real movie, than a fake movie that would be displayed in a movie or sitcom as an example of a pretentious movie.
