I owe a fair deal of success to my various experiences working with Avish Parashar.
He's doing a free teleseminar about using developing and using humor in speaking. I haven't heard this particular talk before, I will be listening to it, but I can attest to his expertise on this matter. Anyone who has a vested interest in… let's say… enhancing a technical presentation to make it more interesting, would benefit greatly from what Avish has to say.
I figure it's important to note, that he's not about adding a joke or two to your presentations. He's talking adding appropriate and topical humor to presentations. He's also about teaching you to think on your feet, and respond to your audience with in-the-moment humor.
The seminar will be held Thursday, April 17th from 1:00PM EST to 2:30PM.
I got to welcome my first child into the world yesterday. John Patrick Ryan. He was 8 lbs 5oz, and 21 inches long. Mom's pretty beat-up, but Jack is doing just fine. I may be biased, but he is perhaps the most perfect child ever born. That's all; I've got to get back to the hospital.
Picture should be visible if you're on my site.
November 29, 2007 Posted by Terrence Ryan at 9:14 AM
I've waited a while to post this, figuring I've told all my family and we're past the danger zone, and my wife already blogged it. Janice is pregnant, and we're expecting our firstborn in November.
I'm filled with great fear and excitement, per the usual father-to-be commentary. I'm also filled with the slight feeling that someone's going to step in and say "No, you can't do this." It's made me a bit panicky about finances, and I think we're going to be moving to the suburbs this summer. (For those that know me well, you know what a bitter pill that is.) We're looking towards Collingswood, NJ, as it is the right price range, and distance from Philly, and the right proximity to free-babysitting.
We've seen the heartbeat on the ultrasound; we don't know the sex yet. We do have names picked out: John Patrick (Jack) for a boy, or Eleanor Leigh for a girl.
So, fatherhood is in my future. If you catch me looking with a patronizing look and saying something like "Being a father changes everything..." please feel free to punch me in the throat. Although, please no permanent injuries, I do have a child that I will have to feed.
My houseguests left a little something when they left: a bottle of Laphroaig Quarter Cask. For those that don't know, it is a single malt scotch which is believed to be one of the more strongly tasting scotches. It's supposed to taste like peat. (Intentionally tasting like decaying vegetation) Additionally, it supposedly it tastes like scotch did 100 years ago.
At first I was apprehensive. The last time I tried Laphroaig I didn't like it, as it tasted like suffering. But that was not the Laphroaig Quarter Cask.
This time, it's not that bad, maybe it was my older palate. Maybe it was the whole 100 years ago thing. Maybe I like the taste of peat.
I'm glad Janice is asleep though. She doesn't like when I come to bed smelling like cigar. I can't imagine her reaction to "peat moss breath."
January 4, 2007 Posted by Terrence Ryan at 1:54 AM
Happy New Years to all. I've been silent because I've been busy.
I had house guests who promote hangovers. (Well, only one of them did that.) But I've need a couple days to recover from all of the Black Label, (and Captain Morgan's and Aberlour and egg nog) and cigars and food that were consumed.
January 4, 2007 Posted by Terrence Ryan at 1:42 AM
I got tagged with this meme by Scott. Let's see if I can actually shock anyone here, without saying anything that would get me fired.
I was a teenage comic book writer. I never read them, but used to make my own comic books. The first set was called "Traveller 12" and starred me (get it "T.R"?) as a knock off of Golgo 13. My later, less subtle self -reimagination was fantasy based and named "Tercet the Ranger."
I loved an alien. Instead of a teddy bear, my best friend as a young child was a stuffed E.T.
I am a thief. I once stole merchandise (clothing) from a former employer. Everyone was doing it, and I was a stupid college kid. I feel extremely guilty about it to this day. Especially since they are out of business now.
I am a socialphobic. I fear large social gatherings. Even things over 10 people tend to make me anxious. I do well with groups of about 4-10.
I was a dangerous child. I once almost burnt down my house growing up. I saw an episode of Mister Wizard in which he made a magnet by running current through copper wire. I tried to emulate using solder and an electrical outlet. I was 7, yet still had the presence of mind to attach the solder to a broom handle so I wouldn't be electrocuted. Sparks flew, lights dimmed, and I darted out of there like a bat out of hell to find an adult to help fix it. Mr. Wizard was banned in my house for awhile after that.
It's about a guy who finds a philosophical master, but he's a guy who works at the gas station. But he's really wise. Then they get in a fight. But then the younger guy realizes that the older guy was right. And then this happens again like another 20 or 30 times. Then the older guy dies, and the younger guy regrets all the fighting. And then the older guy appears in a vision and shows the young guy what it is like to be dead. And then the young guy realizes that he should be nicer to his wife.
Actually wait. That does sound pretty subject to mockery. Ummm. Never mind guys.
December 18, 2006 Posted by Terrence Ryan at 11:58 PM
Tonight is the last night of my 20's. I feel I must right the obligatory "I'm 30" post. I do it while enjoying a cigar and a glass of Blue Label.
I tend to look at my life in 5 year markers. I remember a lot about 5 years ago at 25. I remember impressions of me at 20. I have only the vaguest sense of me at 15.
I know that all of those different versions of me would not have expected me to be where I am. That's not a lament. It's just further proof that life is really hard to plot out past 5 years.
At 15:
I was painfully single, but somehow
I thought I would be married at 25
I thought I would be a Psychologist
I thought I would move away from the Philadelphia area forever
I didn't think life was that great
I thought High school was pretty pointless
I figured college would be more of the same, but at least I'd be out of my parents' house
At 20:
I was painfully single, but
I hoped I would be married at 25
I feared I wouldn't be able to get a real job
I didn't care where I lived as long as I had a job
Life was okay, but would be better once I started making real money
That high school was pointless was a confirmed fact
College was more of the same, but at least I was out of my parent's house.
At 25
I was painfully single, and
I accepted that I would always be this way (thanks to my ex's for that )
I was a relatively successful computer geek.
I felt like I might just accept Philadelphia as a home
Life was better than before, but the real fun started when I made more money
I couldn't remember almost anything about high school; except a vague suspicion that it had been uncomfortable.
College was the best time in my life, and I wished I had lived it up a little more.
Now we come to 30
I'm happily married
I hope for a long, long time
I'm still a geek.
Hey, assface, you didn't just say something bad about Philly? Did you?
Life is pretty great, but you know what would be greater? More money.
I assume I went to a high school at some point
College was the best time in my life until now. (Thanks to Janice)
I have no idea what 35 and 40 will hold. I hope I hold on to my wife, I hope I have some kids, I hope health is in there too. Past that, not much you can really plan on.
Except that more money would be nice too.
December 18, 2006 Posted by Terrence Ryan at 9:39 PM
And like that it's all over. Janice and I are married.
Everything was fantastic. The Ceremony was beautiful, pictures at the Art Museum were not as long as they could have been, and the reception was a whirlwind blast. Afterwards in the bar at the hotel was fantastic, and topping it off with a 1 am Pat's run was just perhaps the most absurd part of it.
Looking forward to the honeymoon!
September 20, 2006 Posted by Terrence Ryan at 11:58 PM
I'm sitting here on my porch, smoking a cigar and drinking some coffee and it's hit me: I'm getting married in three days. I'm still shocked that I'm allowed to do this. Like someone should step in and ask Janice what the hell is wrong with her, and is she sure this is a good idea.
Oh well, hopefully for me, no one will.
This probably hit me because today was my last day of work for three weeks. I've never had a three week vacation in my life. One of the reasons I love working at Wharton is the awesome vacation benefits (5 weeks and the week between Christmas and New Years off. ) But I never take them. Part of it is I'm a bit of a workaholic, and part of it is I truly like the job. But now contemplating three weeks away.... I'm thrilled. Maybe a little scared, but truly looking forward to it.
September 13, 2006 Posted by Terrence Ryan at 10:02 PM
I got a wedding gift early today. Janice wanted to get me something big for her wedding gift to me. She always wanted to show off how ridiculously cool she is.
Thus she got me humidorzilla. I think she hit her target.
It fits 200 cigars. It has 1o interconnected chambers of differing sizes, 2 humidification units, a glass enclosure and an externally readable hygrometer. In short... it rules.
It's currently sucking up some distilled water. I'm very excited. I'm buying some boxes to fill it tomorrow. It's a nice end to a crappy, crappy week.
And don't worry, I did something equally nice for Janice for her wedding gift.
August 11, 2006 Posted by Terrence Ryan at 8:16 PM
I'm heading out tomorrow night to beautiful Tampa Florida. I'm doing a little vacationing. I'm going crash with my friend Mensch. He's promised to show me all that's cool about his adopted city. I'm especially excited to check out Ybor City, where supposedly I can get the freshest cigars in the U.S.
Hopefully I will return refreshed, relaxed and no longer quite as high strung as I have been.
Janice said pretty much all there was to say about our experience at the Daily Show taping, so I'll just say this: I respect and admire Jon Stewart, but I have non-sexual man-crush on Stephen Colbert.
March 10, 2006 Posted by Terrence Ryan at 12:34 AM
I can't quite believe it, but I find #1 Single, riveting. If you haven't seen it, it's a dating reality show where Lisa Loeb is looking for a husband.
I've never particularly been a huge fan of Lisa Loeb, but for some reason this show is facinating. I think because it is in sharp relief to other celebrity reality shows. She's not pathetic, or obnoxious, she's actually pretty sweet. She's also really normal, or edited that way.
My favorite clip was the guy who sang "Stay" on karaoke to her.
I'm shocked that something this positive is on E.
February 6, 2006 Posted by Terrence Ryan at 1:13 AM
Earlier tonight I lost power in my house. A couple minutes later there were police lights and sirens. I wandered out while I was calling PECO on my cell to tell them I lost power. The automated system told me that they new about the problem, 1300 people were affected and it would be fixed within an hour and a half.
I wander down my block and see the police and fire surrounding a pallet of what another bystander told me was drywall in the middle of the street, directly beneath the downed power lines. Doing the geometry, I figure out that the wind must have blown the pallet off of the roof of a construction project across from my house.
My power came back on so no problem. I forgot about it, until a couple of minutes ago. Now, there's some sheet metal getting blown around and filling my neighborhood with loud booming. Then I got to thinking: How windy does it have to be to blow a pallet of drywall off of a roof? And wouldn't it have been pulverized by the fall? And what's dry wall doing on the roof of a building.
So I went out a few minutes ago and investigated. Turns out it was some sort of foam insulation. This makes much more sense.
January 15, 2006 Posted by Terrence Ryan at 2:46 AM
My brother, Casey, has joined the wonderful world of blogging. He's got very little to date, and probably thinks that he can lay low for a little while. Please put intense pressure on him to write more.
To honor this occassion, I have made a South Park representation of him. (The halo is because he's my parent's favorite child.)
January 4, 2006 Posted by Terrence Ryan at 12:24 AM
I went down to Walt Disney World for my birthday, and I got back into town yesterday. I've been catching up on everything in preparation for leaving again for Long Island this weekend for Christmas with Janice's family. So I'm just going to do a stream of consciousness thing here and spill it all.
In my rush to get the movie posted, I forgot to thank the stars of the film. Scott, Janice, Ryan and Joe had to put up with me as a demanding director so they deserve more than thanks, but that's all I got for 'em.
I've entered the last year of my 20's. I don't know just how I feel about yet. But my presence at Disney World implies that I won't be going gently futher into adulthood.
December 19, 2005 Posted by Terrence Ryan at 8:40 AM
I finished the movie I've been working on. It's not my best flick, but I don't think anyone will cry over it. I should have the script, and video up after in a week or so. In a new twist, I'll be adding the storyboards too.
December 13, 2005 Posted by Terrence Ryan at 11:19 PM
My continuing plans to torment Coke do not fair well. In an attempt to be completely honest, I sent them this:
Would this have been a more effective query:
Please send me free Diet Vanilla Coke. You can't sell it anyway. You might as well send me some free. I will give it a good home and love it, until I pour it into my gaping maw!
I'm just wondering.
They reponded:
Thank you for contacting our website, Mr. Ryan. We appreciate your interest in The Coca-Cola Company.
Your comments are appreciated and will be shared with the appropriate management.
If you have additional questions or comments, please visit our website again.
Janice
Industry and Consumer Affairs
The Coca-Cola Company
What I find interesting is that it is clearly a form letter, like the last response, but is different from it. Either an algorithm determines the response, or a person had to pick a response. It almost makes me want to test what will come back from them if I send different queries.
December 11, 2005 Posted by Terrence Ryan at 10:08 PM
I've had it up to here with the whole "Happy Holidays" versus "Merry Christmas" debate. I was at Church earlier tonight, and the Monsignor admonished us not the leave Jesus out of the holiday. While I have my issues and disagreements with the Church, I had a lot more respect for them, than to believe that they would get sucked into this stupid issue.
It is a stupid issue, because zealots on both sides of the argument seem to miss the point. At this time of the year we are more charitable, more caring, and more generous to others. The point of offering any sort of seasons greeting is to extend that elevated humanity to others. To offer any sort of well-wish as weapon or to push your views on another person makes your charitable offering crap before it leaves your mouth.
For most people, to offer someone "Happy Holidays" is to say "I want to offer you well wishes but I'm not sure what holiday you celebrate." It may also mean "I don't really care but I am offering you platitudes." It doesn't mean "I hate the baby Jesus."
On the other hand, most people that say "Merry Christmas," are saying "I want to offer you well wishes and I celebrate Christmas." It may too mean "I don't really care but I am offering you platitudes." It doesn't mean "I hope the baby Jesus devours you and your heathen children."
My rule on the matter, is that if you really want to extend well wishes to people offer the well wishes that they want to receive. If you encounter a someone you know is Christian, say "Merry Christmas." If you encounter a person you know is Jewish say "Happy Chanukah." If you encounter someone you know worships the Flying Spaghetti Monster, ask them where their pirate costume is.
If you don't know, remember that "Happy Holidays" means "I don't know what you celebrate, but I wish you well!"
And for the record, I am Catholic, which means according to me, I'm Christian, (according to others, I'm a "so-called Christian.") I respond to "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Holidays," and I will just be happy that in this craptastic world someone wishes me well... or is at least offering platitudes.
December 11, 2005 Posted by Terrence Ryan at 9:50 PM
I slept most of the day away fighting off a migraine. So I'm up rendering video for this year's Christmas movie. I just finished the video cut and now I have to go back and start editing the sound.
Rendering takes awhile cause my workstation is two years old, and I applied a lot of video tweaks to the movie:
Added an effect that looked like it was shot through white diffusion to make a flashback look distinct.
Now comes the awful period that will last until a month after I show this thing at the Christmas party. What I thought was funny has now, after repeated viewing, ceased to entertain me. Doubt creeps in. Will other people find it funny? Will people be offended? Worst, will other people think it's lame?
Okay, it's probably done. Onward to tedious sound design!
December 11, 2005 Posted by Terrence Ryan at 2:42 AM
A couple days ago, I wrote about Coke breaking my heart by discontinuing Diet Vanilla Coke, possible the greatest liquid ever created by man... in a laboratory... by an R and D team. I wrote to Coke to ask them information about how to amass a supply for my future Diet Vanilla Coke needs. This is what I wrote:
I'm a huge fan of Diet Vanilla Coke. (I go through about 4 12 packs a week.) I am very disappointed to find out that it is being discontinued. Is there anyway I can find out where the final shipments are being sent in my area so I can hoard it?
It should have been obvious that I meant:
Please send me free Diet Vanilla Coke. You can't sell it anyway. You might as well send me some free. I will give it a good home and love it, until I pour it into my gaping maw!
Diet Vanilla Coke is being discontinued. Why Coca Cola? I have been a loyal customer. I buy incredible amounts of the stuff. I have for years. Am I not enough?
I'm going to have to hoard the stuff now.
December 5, 2005 Posted by Terrence Ryan at 1:00 AM
Janice and I have started a tradition where we put up Christmas decorations as soon as Thanksgiving company leave. Even though this year we had a lot of fun hosting my cousin, his fiancee, and her sister, we had the tree waiting for us as a gift when they left.
Now onwards to Christmas!
November 28, 2005 Posted by Terrence Ryan at 1:17 AM
Every week, I watch The Office, and it seems like more and more of it is like my work. Granted we don't make paper, and Bob Z is no Michael Scott, but the similarities abound. Michael does improv - I did improv. Pam and Jim have a secret work place crush on each other. Janice and I kept ours secret for awhile. Michael forces employees to participate in an embarassing work party complete with award ceremony. Bob Z...
Nevermind.. there's nothing similar about The Office and my job.
If you actualy read this Bob, I'm just kidding.
November 22, 2005 Posted by Terrence Ryan at 10:36 PM
Of late I find my thoughts turning to a form of ritualistic abuse steeped in tradition. A situation where more experienced people have power over those with less experience or knowledge. I think often people haze those they have power over because they went through it themselves so they will make other suffer.
I am talking about marriage, of course.
It seems like everybody involved with the process seems to be out to make it difficult for us. The Church is making Janice get confirmed, despite the fact that I'm pretty sure it's not sacramentally required. They wouldn't even discuss it with us. Wedding vendors love to use F.U.D. on us. My family is causing me issues over the invitations. That's right, I've lost precious hours of my life to multiple, lengthy family conferences over FUCKING INVITATIONS! People that were months ago repeatedly pressuring me to propose, and cajoling me fore taking my time are now asking me if I've really thought this thing through.
In the next few months, I have more fights ahead of me, over shit I don't care about. I get to have the Catholic Church teach me (again) about the Rhythm Method er... Natural Family Planning. I'm sure my family will be angered by the centerpieces, or a food choice or something.
I know everyone go through this, and I don't have a larger point here, I just wanted to vent... And of course to point out that Janice is worth it. But eloping sounds better every day.
November 22, 2005 Posted by Terrence Ryan at 12:41 AM
Haven't posted in awhile, I know. I've been busy. Finally hiring someone, but I got set back by jury duty last week. I'm only now getting some breathing room. I'm also working on a redesign of this site and another Christmas movie (to join "It's a Wonderful Mensch" and "A Christmas Party") . This is all in addition to writing at Filmfodder. So I've been a bit run down.
Expect to see the redesign within a week or two, and the Christmas movie in about a month. Also expect a new cigar review within a day or so - because it's alternative happy hour Thursday again.
November 17, 2005 Posted by Terrence Ryan at 4:19 PM
Slate has this interesting piece about parishoners holding hands in the Catholic Mass.
Finally an issue with which I agree with the traditionalists. Hand-holding smacks of the Post-Vatican II mistakes like tamborines, and lay teachers with bowl cuts. Don't get me wrong, I think most of Vatican II was a good thing. I just don't like the hippy influences on the church.
October 31, 2005 Posted by Terrence Ryan at 10:47 PM
I've been a bit light with the posts for awhile, it's because I've been working on my house. Those of you that have been in any of my homes know the incredible leaning entertainment center (pictured top.) Janice, who had been suggesting that it needed to go for quite some time, finally convinced me to get rid of it. It was sad for me, but it's going to live down in Florida with Mensch who is moving there to run the Internet operations for a gubernatorial campaign. We also got rid of the papasan. Mensch got that too.
We replaced it with more Ikea furniture (pictured bottom.) Turns out that everyone has Magiker furniture, or at least Ryan does. I have to say I'm happy with it, despite the hand cramps from wrestling with allen wrenches and odd Swedish material couplers. Now on to the bathrooms.
October 8, 2005 Posted by Terrence Ryan at 12:06 AM
One year from today, I will be marrying Janice Lee. Despite the trials and tribulations of the process of wedding planning, I cannot wait. I don't really care about centerpieces and invitations, but I do care about spending the rest of my life with her.
I just wish I knew what the gift was for a -1 year anniversary. I imagine since the 1 year is paper, the -1 is like email or a webpage, or a blog post.
So happy -1st anniversary, honey!
September 16, 2005 Posted by Terrence Ryan at 12:35 AM
I haven't written in awhile because I've been dealing with family issues. My grandfather passed away earlier this week. I wasn't particularly close to him, so this isn't an attempt to seek sympathy. But I figured I would at least write something about it.
